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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27780295">sleepless night, silent night, holy night</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/avalonjoan/pseuds/avalonjoan'>avalonjoan</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Henrietta: without magic, with medical careers [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Medical, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Bathing/Washing, Caretaking, Catholicism, Christmas, College, College Student Adam Parrish, F/M, Fever, Friendship, Hospitalization, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Paramedic Ronan Lynch, Religion, Religious Imagery &amp; Symbolism, Sick Character, Sickfic, Whump, at what point does hurt comfort become whump, overmentioning of boston and cambridge things to prove that I live here, pretty sure i crossed the line with this one</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-11 00:29:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,909</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27780295</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/avalonjoan/pseuds/avalonjoan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Parrish, you’re being the stubborn one who won’t go to the hospital even though I, someone who takes people to the hospital for a living, think you should. Let me go.” Adam begrudgingly allowed Ronan to move his arm out of the way. Once he returned with a full glass of water, he sat on the bed beside Adam and nudged him to sit up. Adam held his hand out, but Ronan shook his head and picked up the thermometer from the bedside table. “Temperature first.”</p><p>Dropping his hand to rest in his lap, Adam opened his mouth; he let Ronan place the thermometer under his tongue and hold it there until it beeped. “What is it?” he mumbled, the sentence getting squished into one tired word.</p><p>“103.”  Ronan rubbed a hand over his scalp. He felt hot himself; his heart was suddenly pounding.  “Adam, please. Something’s wrong.”</p><p>---</p><p>Adam and Ronan have plans for Christmas in Cambridge, but when Adam gets sent home from work with a fever, it looks like those plans might have to wait.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Richard Gansey III/Blue Sargent, Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Henrietta: without magic, with medical careers [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1971451</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>241</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I got a comment on the last chapter of Mr. Right and Mrs. (Not) Always Right that said, "I’m sorry but I do not think it is LEGAL to mention Adam Parrish being rushed to the hospital and not give us the details!!" and I was like...well, I've already written one flashback fic for something I made a one-off mention of in that fic (see: head, hand, heart) so here we go! </p><p>I wrote it as one big thing but broke it up into chapters of varying lengths--this first one's shorter than the others.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Even though Ronan, through a series of elaborate shift trades and bribes of craft beer to coworkers, had been able to score a whole week off for Christmas, Adam hadn’t been quite as lucky. He had to work the 22nd, but after that the clinic would be closed for four days, and Ronan was going to spend every second of those four days with him. Adam’s housemates had all gone home to their parents’ places for break, so they had the apartment to themselves. They had a few actual plans—Christmas Eve Mass at the Cathedral, an organ concert at Old South Church, and an incredibly touristy ride in a horse-drawn carriage--but for the most part, they were going to cook and watch movies and cuddle for those five days. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Adam had left for work at eight, managing not to wake Ronan in the process. At nine, Ronan got up and, realizing that the apartment didn’t have much to offer without Adam there, went on a walk. His wandering led him to the Labyrinth at the Divinity School, where Adam had wiped away his tears years ago when Ronan realized that he wasn’t ready to move to Cambridge that first fall. The most recent snowfall had been a few days ago, and while the Labyrinth itself was covered in slush, the trees looked nice and it was relaxing to feel like he’d stepped out of the city for a while. He was almost ready to head back, his fingertips going numb, when his phone rang.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Parrish,” he said in greeting, “Aren’t you supposed to be working?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They sent me home--Marcie said I looked pale and took my temperature and I guess I have a fever.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ronan started back toward Harvard Square, jaywalking across an enormously dangerous mess of an intersection. He flipped off one of the cars as he pressed the phone to his ear to hear Adam over the honking. “I thought you were feeling better.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me too.” Adam coughed, as if to completely negate his statement. “Could you pick up a thermometer on your way home? I thought I had one but I guess I don’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course. Anything else?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Adam paused before answering. “Just you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ronan smiled. “Alright. I’ll see you soon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He picked up his pace, stopping at CVS for the thermometer and an assortment of cold medicine on the way back to the house. Adam had complained about getting a cold right at the end of finals, but managed to get better a few days before Ronan arrived, with the exception of what one of the doctors at his clinic had labeled a post-viral cough. Nothing contagious, just some lingering inflammation, his coworker had explained. Of course, Ronan had planned on kissing him regardless of if he was better or not, since he hadn’t been kissed since his birthday, but it was nice to not have to worry about getting sick right as he had to return to work.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Letting himself into the apartment, he found Adam on the couch, wrapped in a blanket, dozing off with his head on the armrest. Ronan tried to take off his coat and boots as quietly as possible, but startled when he heard Adam’s voice. “‘m awake.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ronan kicked off his remaining boot and went over to Adam, crouching beside him. He kissed the other’s forehead. “Hey,” he murmured against his skin, “You’re not looking too good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Adam shook his head. “Yeah, I’m not feelin’ great. Probably just my cold flaring up for round two.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think that’s a thing that happens.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After ducking his head under the covers to cough, Adam shrugged. “Well, I’ll take it easy today so we can celebrate tomorrow.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” Ronan ran his fingers through Adam’s hair. “Do you want to stay on the couch?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. But can I put my head in your lap?” Ronan stood and gestured for Adam to move, taking a seat and allowing Adam to relax against him. “And keep playin’ with my hair, it feels nice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Adam’s accent had all but disappeared in his three years at Harvard. It wasn’t that he was deliberately hiding it anymore, it had just slowly gone away. The only time it came out was when he was drunk or exhausted, and God, while Ronan loved hearing those broad vowels and forgotten ends of words, it worried him to hear it now. Nevertheless, he did as asked, smiling as Adam let out a comfortable hum.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He let Adam sleep until almost three, by which time Ronan felt like his stomach was starting to digest itself. He’d hoped that Adam would feel better after some rest, but the thermometer reported a 101.1 degree fever and Adam’s cough hadn’t lessened at all. An hour later, after Tylenol and cough syrup and a bowl of pho from Adam’s favorite place near campus, they moved upstairs to Adam’s bed. They put on movie after movie, with Ronan only half-watching; most of his attention was focused on Adam, moreso after the other fell into a fitful sleep.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Around ten, Adam woke up, mumbled something about going to the bathroom, and took about four steps before swaying and grabbing onto the doorframe. Ronan, having known this was coming as soon as he saw the other stand up, was already on his feet and managed to awkwardly put his arms around Adam and guide him to the floor. “Parrish, you need to go to the ER.”</p><p>“I don’t want to.” Adam’s voice was muffled against Ronan’s chest.</p><p>“I’m not giving you a choice.” He kept his voice gentle, running his fingers through Adam’s hair. “If we get there and they say that everything’s fine and that you just need to wait it out, you can say ‘I told you so’ as much as you want, but you have to go get checked out."</p><p>---</p><p>Ronan thinks it's time to get help, but Adam just wants to sleep.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><span>It was around two in the morning that Ronan’s worry hit a breaking point. He’d been unable to sleep, even in the brief spells when Adam wasn’t coughing, and noticed that the sound of the other’s breathing had changed.  When they had gone to bed, his breaths sounded relatively normal, save for the near-constant coughing, but now they were...different. Bad different.</span> <span>He couldn’t put words to it, but he’d been working with patients long enough to get a feeling when something was off. Ronan hated the idea of waking Adam, but there was no other good way to do what he needed to. Gently, he shook the other’s shoulder. “Hey,” he whispered, smoothing Adam’s hair when he jolted awake, “I need to listen to your lungs.”</span></p><p>
  <span>“Ro, I just fell asleep.” Adam sounded equal parts annoyed and exhausted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know. I’m sorry. I just—” Ronan paused, biting his lip. “Just let me do this. Please.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eyes drifting closed again, Adam cooperated as Ronan sat him up and lifted his shirt. Ronan placed an ear on one side of Adam’s mid-back (God, his skin was </span>
  <em>
    <span>so hot</span>
  </em>
  <span>, there was no way in hell that this was just a cold), and Adam took a deep breath in, then let it out. They repeated this a half-dozen times with Ronan’s ear in different places; nearly every time, Adam would double over coughing at some point and Ronan would rub his back until he was able to breathe again. Finally, Ronan tugged Adam’s shirt back into place and eased him back onto the bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s definitely some shit in there. More on the right.” He’d heard it below Adam’s shoulder blade, like someone slowly blowing bubbles into a drink. Classic crackles, just like the example audio files from medic school, but Ronan’s mind was too consumed with worry to recall the different things that sound could indicate. It wasn’t good, that he was sure of. “Adam, I think we should go to the hospital.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Adam groaned and rolled over so his back was to Ronan. “You’re just paranoid ‘cause of your job,” he grumbled, “If it’s still there in the morning I’ll go to urgent care, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t think he was being paranoid, but Ronan knew that fighting with Adam would only deprive him of necessary rest without changing the outcome. “Fine,” Ronan sighed, “but in a few years, when you’re the one with more medical training and I decide I don’t want to listen to you, remember this moment.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The only indication that Adam heard him with a slight movement of his head, which was followed by another burst of coughing. Ronan rubbed at his own chest with one hand, partially out of sympathy, but mostly trying to ease the pressure building there. He didn’t often get this anxious anymore and it had been a few years since he needed a Xanax, but damn, he wished that he’d brought his remaining few pills on the trip. Pressing firmly on his sternum, Ronan took a deep breath, let it out slowly through pursed lips, and pulled up a game on his phone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In trying to keep an eye on Adam all night, Ronan fell into the cycle of almost-sleeping and then jolting awake. He was awake in earnest at sunrise, back aching from sitting upright for so long, pleasantly surprised to find Adam still asleep. Looking at him in the early light, Ronan could see the flutter of Adam’s pulse on his neck. Even without touching, without measuring against a clock, Ronan knew it was too fast. Adam’s back was pressed against his thigh, and he was just as feverish as the day before. Ronan closed his eyes, held his breath. He let Adam sleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It didn’t take long for Adam to cough himself awake, rolling over and putting his head on Ronan’s lap. He let out a miserable, tired whine. “I hate this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.” Ronan rubbed his back, because it was the only thing he could do. Well, one of maybe three things he could do. “I’m gonna go refill your water so you can take more Tylenol.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Adam whined again, putting his arm around Ronan’s legs to hold him in place. “Just stay here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Parrish, you’re being the stubborn one who won’t go to the hospital even though I, someone who takes people to the hospital for a living, think you should. Let me go.” Adam begrudgingly allowed Ronan to move his arm out of the way. Once he returned with a full glass of water, he sat on the bed beside Adam and nudged him to sit up. Adam held his hand out, but Ronan shook his head and picked up the thermometer from the bedside table. “Temperature first.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dropping his hand to rest in his lap, Adam opened his mouth; he let Ronan place the thermometer under his tongue and hold it there until it beeped. “What is it?” he mumbled, the sentence getting squished into one tired word.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“103.” Ronan rubbed a hand over his scalp. He felt hot himself; his heart was suddenly pounding. “Adam, please. Something’s wrong.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just give me the Tylenol and the cough stuff and let me sleep.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You fucking have health insurance now, use it.” His voice rising, Ronan tried for a calming breath. “If it’s about money I’ll—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stop—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“--cover the copay or whatever, just please, do this for me.” Ronan didn’t often plead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just want to sleep.” Adam reached toward the bedside table, but Ronan was faster, shaking out two tablets and handing them to him. Once Adam put the pills in his mouth, he held his hand out again, but Ronan didn’t trust him to hold the water glass at this point. Cradling the back of Adam’s head in one hand, he brought the cup to his lips. Adam took a few sips, shaking his head when he decided he was finished. “Just a few more hours, Ro. Please.” Adam didn’t often plead either.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ronan handed Adam a capful of cough syrup, watched him grimace as he swallowed, and then took the cup and returned it to the table. He kissed Adam’s forehead before helping him lie back down. “Fine. But this is the last time. If you’re still feeling this shitty at noon, we’re going to the hospital.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Urgent care.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not about to make a promise he wasn’t going to keep, Ronan didn’t reply. Pulling the covers up to Adam’s shoulder, he tucked some hair off the other’s forehead before getting up and going down to the kitchen. He rifled through the cabinets until he found some instant coffee and made himself a too-strong cup, the bitterness just enough to momentarily distract him. There wasn’t much in the fridge since they’d planned on going grocery shopping after Adam’s shift, so he settled on some instant oatmeal, making sure that there was one of each flavor left so that Adam could pick his favorite when Ronan inevitably had to force him to eat something. He sat on the couch while he ate, bouncing his leg to the point that some coffee splashed over the edge, not-quite burning him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ronan managed about half an hour before going back up to Adam. He didn’t want to risk waking him, so he sat on the floor where he could keep an eye on the other’s face. It wasn’t even nine; he had no idea how he was going to make it to noon. He knew that just watching Adam sleep wasn’t going to make the time go any faster, but he couldn’t stomach the thought of sitting around somewhere else while Adam’s condition was seemingly worsening by the hour. Ronan pulled up the Times on his phone and pretended to read the news.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ultimately, he didn’t have to wait until noon. Around ten, Adam woke up, mumbled something about going to the bathroom, and took about four steps before swaying and grabbing onto the doorframe. Ronan, having known this was coming as soon as he saw the other stand up, was already on his feet and managed to awkwardly put his arms around Adam and guide him to the floor. “Parrish, you need to go to the ER.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to.” Adam’s voice was muffled against Ronan’s chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not giving you a choice.” He kept his voice gentle, running his fingers through Adam’s hair. “If we get there and they say that everything’s fine and that you just need to wait it out, you can say ‘I told you so’ as much as you want, but you have to go get checked out.” Slowly, Adam nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t easy, but they made it down the stairs, with Ronan using the wall for support while Adam leaned on him.  He helped Adam into his boots and jacket, tugging a hat on over his sweat-damp hair. Ronan had just finished locking the front door behind them when Adam suddenly gripped his arm with both hands, and Ronan quickly shifted positions to support his weight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Want me to carry you?” Adam shook his head, but after one unsteady step toward the driveway, Ronan held him still. “Up you go,” he said as he lifted Adam, one arm under his knees, the other behind his back. Adam didn’t resist, just rested his head on Ronan’s shoulder. “You’re okay,” Ronan murmured, taking care not to bump Adam’s dangling feet against the chain link fence at the edge of the yard, “I’ve got you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Adam let out a quiet hum and mumbled something that could have been ‘I love you.’ After helping him into the car and buckling Adam’s seatbelt, Ronan backed out of the driveway and started toward the hospital, pushing the speed limit on the narrow streets and paying more attention to Adam than to the road. By the time they arrived at the ER entrance, Adam had fallen asleep again, the window fogged near where his head was resting. Ronan helped him into a wheelchair and then, for the first time in his life, Ronan handed his keys to the valet before pushing Adam into the waiting room.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I've literally been hanging out on whump blogs and my brain was like "well I guess you gotta write all these tropes." I think my personal fave is Ronan holding the thermometer for Adam. (What's your fave hc/sickfic/whump trope? It's legit the only genre I write so I'll take suggestions.)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Ronan was fading fast, his energy absolutely drained by a combination of not sleeping, not eating, and anxiety. He only processed a few things the doctor said—pneumonia, moderate risk of complications, IV antibiotics, admission.</p><p>It was the sound of Adam crying that pulled Ronan back to the moment. “Please, can’t we do something else?” he said, not bothering to wipe away his tears, “I just want to go home.”</p><p>The doctor opened her mouth, but Ronan beat her to it. He leaned on the bed rail and dried Adam’s cheeks with the cuff of his sweatshirt. “Adam, I can’t take care of you at home like this. I don’t know how to. It’ll just be overnight—” he glanced at the doctor, who gave a hesitant nod that Ronan chose to interpret as a ‘yes’ instead of a ‘probably’, “—and then we’ll go home, okay?” Adam sniffled. “Please. For me.”</p><p>---</p><p>Adam needs to be kept overnight and Ronan finds comfort in an unexpected place.</p><p>[While it takes place in a hospital, there's no graphic medical content/blood/procedures]</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Once they were in the ER, everything moved faster. The triage nurse didn’t look particularly happy with Adam’s vital signs and had someone bring him to a room. Ronan stayed with him, answering most of the questions that various providers asked since Adam couldn’t remember most of the details and or get out more than a few words without coughing. A nurse started an IV and drew blood. A doctor came in and listened to his lungs. A different person took him for an x-ray. Ronan went to get an energy drink from the vending machine in the lobby. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>By the time the doctor came back, he’d lost track of how long they’d been there—he couldn’t remember when they arrived, but it had to have been a few hours. Adam was looking slightly more alert after a liter of fluids and some more Tylenol, to the point where he was able to keep his eyes open while the doctor explained what was going on. Ronan, on the other hand, was fading fast, his energy absolutely drained by a combination of not sleeping, not eating, and anxiety. He only processed a few things the doctor said—pneumonia, moderate risk of complications, IV antibiotics, admission.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was the sound of Adam crying that pulled Ronan back to the moment. “Please, can’t we do something else?” he said, not bothering to wipe away his tears, “I just want to go home.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The doctor opened her mouth, but Ronan beat her to it. He leaned on the bed rail and dried Adam’s cheeks with the cuff of his sweatshirt. “Adam, I can’t take care of you at home like this. I don’t know how to. It’ll just be overnight—” he glanced at the doctor, who gave a hesitant nod that Ronan chose to interpret as a ‘yes’ instead of a ‘probably’, “—and then we’ll go home, okay?” Adam sniffled. “Please. For me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally, Adam nodded. The doctor talked them through the admission process, which would take at least another hour, and then left again. The nurse came back to start the antibiotics. An aide brought Adam a warm blanket and a sandwich in a plastic box, since he’d missed the window to order lunch. Blessedly, Adam finished half of it while Ronan read him an article making fun of items in the Williams-Sonoma holiday catalog. (“I bet Gansey has a stupid fucking wine aerator like that.” “Oh, one hundred percent. He probably has two.”) After, Ronan tried to eat the rest of the sandwich, picking off little bits of deli turkey, but he was too nauseated to handle more. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was around three by the time someone came to bring Adam to his room, Ronan trailing behind as they wheeled the stretcher to the elevator. Every vertical surface they passed was decorated with snowflakes or fake pine garlands with red bows and it made Ronan want to scream. The nurse asked him to step out while they got Adam settled, so he went down to the gift shop and bought a teddy bear with a Santa hat for Adam because its sweater said ‘Have a Very Beary Christmas’ and it was stupid and Adam would think it was funny, and a bracelet that looked like something Blue would enjoy because why shouldn’t he finish his Christmas shopping while literally shaking with caffeine and stress?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he went back upstairs, Adam was half-watching TV in bed. Ronan pressed the nose of the bear to Adam’s cheek and made a kissing sound, and God, it had never been so good to see Adam smile. “How are you feeling?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Adam shrugged. “Maybe a little better. They just gave me some more Tylenol since my fever’s comin’ back up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ronan combed his fingers through Adam’s hair. “I’m so sorry you’re sick.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be okay.” Adam closed his eyes momentarily, then looked back to Ronan. “You should go home and rest. You look exhausted.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry about me.” Leaning over and kissing Adam’s temple, Ronan let his lips linger there. He was still warm, but so much better than that morning. “What are you watching, anyway?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Adam shrugged again. “Some straight people Christmas movie. You can pick something else, if you want.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no,” Ronan said, dragging the nearby chair over, “Let’s see how the other half lives.” Though he wanted to climb under the blanket and hold Adam to his chest, the bed wasn’t made to accommodate two grown men. Instead, he dropped one of the bed rails and beckoned for Adam to scoot to the edge of the mattress. Ronan moved his chair up against the bed and rested his head on Adam’s shoulder. It wasn’t exactly comfortable, his back twisted at an odd angle, but he could put up with it if it meant getting to be this close to Adam.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Near the end of the movie, Adam’s dinner arrived and they each spent the ensuing hour insisting they weren’t hungry and trying to get the other to eat, finally striking a deal and alternating bites of Adam’s meal until the tray was empty. Ronan ate as little as possible, taking tiny forkfuls or skipping his turn and hoping that the other wouldn’t notice; he still didn’t feel like eating, and Adam was the one who needed the energy after having a raging fever for the past day. Once they had finished the vanilla-strawberry layer cake (which wasn’t bad, Ronan had to admit), he moved the wheeled table out of the way so Adam could recline the bed. He wasn’t going to sleep, he said, but Ronan wasn’t the least bit surprised when his half of the conversation dropped off shortly after, and while it might have been wishful thinking, it sounded like Adam’s breathing was rattling just a little less than before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Using the bed control that tripled as a call light and TV remote, Ronan flipped through the channels until he found one of the Indiana Jones movies playing. Keeping the volume low, he watched until the end, wishing that making Adam well was as simple as giving him water from a sacred chalice—he’d fight as many Nazis and snakes as he needed to do it. He wondered if the hospital had a chapel.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sky was dark by the time Adam’s nurse came in. She kept her voice low when she spoke to Ronan. “Visiting hours are almost over, hon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It hadn’t even occurred to Ronan that he would have to leave. He looked to Adam, then back to the nurse. “Is there any way—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She shook her head. “I’m sorry—they take security pretty seriously. But provided everything goes as planned, we can have you come back in time for him to be discharged tomorrow.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tears prickled at Ronan’s eyes. No. No, he wasn’t going to cry here, not in front of Adam, even if he was asleep. “Thank you,” he said roughly, standing and grabbing his coat from the back of the chair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’ll probably wake up a little when I take his vitals—you can say goodbye then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sure enough, Adam stirred when the blood pressure cuff tightened around his arm, and Ronan took a seat on the edge of the bed and caressed his cheek. “Hey,” he said, keeping his voice soft, “They’re gonna kick me out in a minute, so I’m gonna head back to your place. Do you want me to bring you anything tomorrow?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Adam shook his head. “No, just you.” He doubled over coughing, and Ronan rubbed his back, heart aching that he had to leave. Adam cleared his throat and continued, “Go get some sleep, darlin’.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll try.” Ronan kissed his forehead. “Feel better, okay?” Adam nodded. “I love you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Love you, too.” Adam lay back on the bed and wiggled the stuffed bear’s arm in a little wave at Ronan before he left. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ronan made it to the elevator lobby before he started to cry. Ducking into an alcove near a potted fake tree, he leaned against the wall and slid to the cold tile floor, fingers digging into the back of his scalp as he curled into the smallest possible amount of space. His eyes were pressed against his knees, filling his vision with spots and stars. The idea of going back to Adam’s apartment while Adam stayed here, sick and alone—he couldn’t do it. He’d rather sleep next to this stupid tree and hope that no one noticed him. He started to hyperventilate in spite of his best efforts to breathe slowly, which only made him feel worse, his head spinning more with every breath. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“‘scuse me,” a voice above him said, and Ronan jumped, frantically drying his face before looking at the stranger. She appeared to be in her sixties and wore scrubs with little cars on them. With not inconsiderable effort, she sat down beside him. “Rough night?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a huff of laughter, Ronan sniffled and wiped his nose against his sleeve. “Rough few days.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a pause, and then Ronan inhaled sharply as she pressed something cold against his hand. He looked down—it was a small styrofoam cup of vanilla ice cream. Too stunned to do anything else, Ronan took the cup, and the nurse handed him a wrapped plastic spoon from her pocket. “Sometimes folks forget to eat when they’re worried about their person. I brought some crackers too, but ice cream’s a little better for the soul, I think.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks.” Ronan peeled off the lid, licking the underside and setting it on the floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s your name, honey?” Ronan told her, and she smiled. “Is your family Irish?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nodded. “My father grew up in Belfast.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m Aisling. My mother was from Armagh, a little ways south.” There was something expansive in her eyes as her smile broadened. “Half a world away and we both end up here tonight.” She was quiet for a few seconds, then asked, “You’re with the young man who came up a few hours ago, yeah?” Ronan nodded, taking a bite of ice cream. “How is he?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Better,” he said around his mouthful, then swallowed and went on, “Still really fucking sick. I should have made him come earlier.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aisling rested her hand on his forearm. “He’s here now. And this is a regular med-surg floor, so he could be doing a lot worse.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They sat in silence while Ronan finished his ice cream. He had to admit that Aisling was right—he felt a little more solid afterward, a little less like he was going to vibrate out of his skin. With a sigh, he leaned his head against the wall and stared up at the ceiling tiles. “I have no idea what I’m doing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ronan looked at her and shrugged. “I don’t live here. I don’t know anyone. I don’t know how to take care of him. I’m a fucking paramedic and I should know what to do but I don’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Completely different skill set, sweetheart,” Aisling said with a dismissive wave of her hand. “I’ve been a nurse for forty years, but I’d be lost on an ambulance. Plus, these things feel so much bigger when you’re by yourself.” There was a pause. “Do you have someone you can call?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um.” He tried to think. More than anything, he wanted Aurora, wanted her to show up and put him to bed and show him how to look after Adam and he wanted everything to just be </span>
  <em>
    <span>better</span>
  </em>
  <span> but that was never going to happen and it was just him just him </span>
  <em>
    <span>just him</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He nearly started crying again, almost blurted out ‘I want my mom,’ but instead, he pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes and inhaled deeply. It was not just him, he reminded himself, it had never been just him. “Yeah,” he said softly, bringing his hands down to rest on his knees, “I can call some friends of ours.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good. That’ll be your homework.” Aisling glanced at her watch. “I’d better head back.  You gonna be alright?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ronan nodded, and it felt like an honest reply. “Yeah.  Thank you for...” He made a vague gesture with one hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d say ‘anytime’, but hopefully this is the last time you’re in a situation like this.” She shifted positions, clearly struggling to get to her feet, and Ronan shot up to help her the rest of the way. With a nod of thanks, she brushed her hands off on her thighs. “You take care, alright? You can’t look after him if you’re not looking after yourself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I will. Thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He watched as she went back toward the patient rooms and the doors closed behind her.  Taking a deep breath—the first one that felt real in days—he reached into his pocket and took out his phone.  He dialed Gansey’s number and waited for him to pick up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ronan!” Gansey’s voice was bright, and the voices and music in the background sounded like he was at the kind of holiday gathering that Ronan would hate. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He ran a hand over his head, coming to rest on the back of his neck. “I, uh—” Ronan paused, trying to push down the emotion that was rising in his throat, threatening to make his voice break.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ronan.” The surprise was gone from Gansey’s tone, replaced entirely with concern. The voices and music faded. Ronan pictured him having ducked into a coat closet to take the call. “Ronan, what’s going on? Where are you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no—I—” He shook his head. “Adam’s sick. We’re at the hospital. They say he’s gonna be fine but I—” he swallowed “—can we just talk for a little while?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The only sound from the other end was Gansey’s sigh, like he’d been holding his breath for Ronan’s answer. “Oh, god. Of course. Whatever you need.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Me: calculating the PSI and CURB-65 scores to make sure Adam's sick enough to be admitted, but not so sick that he'd end up in the ICU.</p><p>Also me: Alright well you can't name the one-off character who shows up on Christmas Eve Eve 'Angela' because that's heavy-handed as fuuuuck so uhhh [frantically searches Irish names] this one means 'dream' or 'vision' so I think that'll work.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>From outside Adam’s room, he could see the other seated on the edge of the bed and tying his shoes, having changed out of his hospital gown and back into his outfit from the day before. Fuck. Why hadn’t Ronan thought to bring a change of clothes for him? He knocked on the doorframe as he entered, and Adam looked up, beaming and beautiful and still looking awful, if Ronan was being honest.</p>
<p>“Hi there,” Adam said, sitting upright and reaching an arm out. </p>
<p>Ronan came closer and took his hand, pressing a kiss to Adam’s knuckles before sitting beside him. “How do you feel?”</p>
<p>Adam nodded. “Better. Still like, exhausted, but my fever’s goin’ away so I feel a little less—” he waved a hand in front of his face, “—you know.”</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>Adam goes home and, with more than a little encouragement, Ronan finally gets to sleep.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ronan didn’t sleep much, if at all. Gansey had stayed on the phone with him for almost two hours, distracting him with stories about absurd conversations with his parents’ friends at the evening’s Christmas party, and it sounded like he was relieved to get away for a while. He listened to Ronan complain about not being able to find anything at the Star Market in Central, gently reminding to get some things for himself and not just for Adam. Finally, Ronan was able to convince Gansey that he’d be okay for the night and said goodnight with a promise to call back (“Give me a ring” had been the direct quote, and Ronan had rolled his eyes) if he needed anything else. He changed Adam’s sheets and ran a load of laundry before lying on the couch and alternated between staring at the ceiling, the cushions, and out the window.</p>
<p>At eight, he got up and drove back to the hospital; he didn’t know when Adam would be released, but he wanted to be there when he was. While slowly making his way through a too-sweet blueberry muffin in the cafeteria, he got a text from Adam. Ronan’s heart raced and he smeared crumbs onto his screen in his haste to read it.</p>
<p>
  <b>They said I’m good to go—I just need to finish this last round of antibiotics and get my paperwork so it’ll take another few hours.</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>Can I come see you yet?</em> </b>
</p>
<p><b>:( Not yet<br/></b> <b>I’ll let you know<br/></b> <b>Are you here already?</b></p>
<p>
  <b> <em>Yeah, in the cafeteria</em> </b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Did you sleep?</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>Not really</em> </b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Sorry</b>
</p>
<p>
  <strong> <em>Cut that out.</em> </strong>
  <br/>
  <strong><em>Give me a call when you’re ready<br/></em> <em>I love you</em></strong>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Love you too &lt;3</b>
</p>
<p>It wasn’t hard to find the chapel, and if there was anywhere in the hospital that Ronan could easily pass a few hours, this was it. It was intended to be neutral in terms of religion, but nevertheless ended up styled like a church, with a large stained glass window behind an altar. The window was lit from behind in an attempt to give the impression of daylight coming through it, and while it wasn’t entirely convincing, it was close enough to the morning lighting at St. Agnes for Ronan to feel at home. He genuflected out of habit and knelt in one of the pews, leaning his elbows on the back of the next one and resting his forehead against his clasped hands.</p>
<p>His brain was still moving so quickly that he couldn’t put words to his prayers. Everything from the past two days spilled out as his thoughts raced. His pastor growing up had called this ‘the foam’ that bubbled out before getting to the actual prayer. Once it was all out, like a spiritual sigh, he was suddenly, deeply, overwhelmed with gratitude, to the point where his breath caught and he sat back on his heels, bowing his head.</p>
<p>It could have been a single hour or it could have been three by the time Adam texted him; Ronan had lost track of time, wandering between reflection and formal prayers and thank you thank you <em> thank you </em>. Standing, he crossed himself and left the chapel, closing the door quietly behind him.</p>
<p>From outside Adam’s room, he could see the other seated on the edge of the bed tying his shoes, having changed back into his outfit from the day before. Fuck. Why hadn’t Ronan thought to bring a change of clothes for him? He knocked on the doorframe as he entered, and Adam looked up, beaming and beautiful and still looking awful, if Ronan was being honest.</p>
<p>“Hi there,” Adam said, sitting upright and reaching an arm out. </p>
<p>Ronan came closer and took his hand, pressing a kiss to Adam’s knuckles before sitting beside him. “How do you feel?”</p>
<p>Adam nodded. “Better. Still like, exhausted, but my fever’s goin’ away so I feel a little less—” he waved a hand in front of his face, “—you know.”</p>
<p>“Good.” Ronan kissed his forehead and ran his fingertips down Adam’s cheek. He never wanted to stop touching him, real and solid and alive. “I missed you last night.”</p>
<p>“Missed you, too,” Adam said, “I always sleep better with you.”</p>
<p>They moved so that Adam’s head was in Ronan’s lap while they waited for the nurse to come with his discharge paperwork. Ronan played with his hair and rubbed his back and didn’t say anything about Gansey or the nurse from the night before. Finally, Adam’s nurse came in to review everything; Ronan would need to go fill the prescription for the oral antibiotics and cough medication, Adam should follow up with student health services in a few days, and they were both to keep a close eye out for anything starting to worsen. Once everything had been signed, someone wheeled Adam down to the car, and Ronan buckled him in, made sure the heat was perfectly adjusted, and drove them home, stopping at the pharmacy on the way.</p>
<p>Ronan wanted to spare Adam having to go up the stairs, but Adam was insistent on sleeping in his own bed. He also refused Ronan’s offer to carry him, which, given how tired Ronan was and how steep the steps were, was probably the safer choice. In the upstairs hallway, before they turned toward Adam’s room, he looked to Ronan and asked, “Can you help me shower? I’m all sweaty and gross from the fever.”</p>
<p>“Of course.” There was no way he was trusting Adam to stand, so they sat in the tub and Ronan carefully washed every inch of him, taking a little longer than necessary and kneading Adam’s back and shoulders. Adam made a quiet moaning sound, leaning into the touch, and Ronan kissed the back of his neck. “That feel good?” </p>
<p>Adam nodded. “Thank you for taking care of me.” He turned enough that Ronan could see his face; he looked apologetic, almost ashamed. “‘m sorry for giving you such a hard time about getting checked out.”</p>
<p>“Don’t worry about it,” Ronan replied, moving Adam back to his previous position and starting to work at the muscles at the base of his neck. “But don’t pull that shit on me again, okay?”</p>
<p>They stayed until the water cooled and Adam started to shiver.  Ronan gently dried him off and helped him into another pair of sweatpants and and his soft, worn Coca-Cola t-shirt, then to bed. Sitting beside him on the mattress, Ronan asked, “Should I let you rest?”</p>
<p>Adam shrugged. “Eh, I actually feel pretty good. Maybe a movie?”</p>
<p>“Another awfully hetero Christmas movie, it is, then.” Ronan found Adam’s laptop and got it set up, picking the movie with the worst looking cover photo, something about a woman needing to set up a holiday party even though she hates Christmas. Adam allowed Ronan to check his temperature more frequently than was strictly necessary, even though he would always follow it up with a kiss and the reassurance that he would be fine. </p>
<p>They had just finished their second terrible movie (recently-divorced man has to bring a date to a party that he already bought two tickets for and just happens to run into his high school girlfriend while Christmas shopping) and Adam had fallen asleep sitting upright when Ronan’s phone buzzed.  Fishing it out from somewhere in the covers, he saw a text from Gansey.</p>
<p><b> <em>I’m not going to ring the doorbell in the event that he’s sleeping, but I’m outside.<br/></em></b> <b> <em>If I don’t hear back from you in a few minutes, I can find a coffee shop to wait in.</em> </b></p>
<p>He reread the text a few times, trying to figure out any other possible interpretation besides Gansey being in Cambridge, outside Adam’s house, and distinctly not in DC. Careful not to wake Adam, he went downstairs and opened the front door; sure enough, Gansey stood before him, face pink from standing in the cold. Ronan took his hand, pulled him inside, and then immediately threw his arms around him, burying his face into the snow-speckled collar of Gansey’s coat. He felt Gansey return the hug, firm and secure, and it was grounding and so, so, necessary, and he was not going to cry on Gansey, he was <em> not </em>.</p>
<p>But then Gansey brought one hand to the back of Ronan’s head and wrapped the other arm around his waist and held him close, almost cradling him against his body, and Ronan fisted his hands into the material of Gansey’s coat and let out a long, shuddering breath that ended in a sob. He couldn’t say anything, and Gansey didn’t either, just continued to hold him as his knees went weak with relief and exhaustion. Finally, Gansey guided him toward the couch and sat beside him, keeping a hand on Ronan’s back, and once he was able to get more than a word out without starting to cry again, Ronan sniffled and dried his face. “How are you here?”</p>
<p>“It sounded like you could use a hand last night.” Gansey took off his outerwear and draped it over the arm of the couch. “It’s just a quick flight from DC.” </p>
<p>“But it’s Christm—”</p>
<p>Gansey waved a hand dismissively. “I’ll celebrate with my family once you and Adam are taken care of.”</p>
<p>Taken care of. Ronan thought he might cry again. He leaned against Gansey, dropping his head to the other’s shoulder. “Thank you.”</p>
<p>“My pleasure.” Gansey put his arm around Ronan and pulled him into a sideways hug. God, how many times had Gansey comforted Ronan like this? How many times had he sat with him while he cried or yelled or couldn’t do anything at all? At risk of sounding like Adam, there was no way for Ronan to repay what Gansey had done for him in those past five years. With a final squeeze, Gansey leaned back to look at Ronan. “When’s the last time you had something to eat?”</p>
<p>It took a moment for Ronan to remember, the past three days all blurring together. “We had some leftover pho a few hours ago.”</p>
<p>“Alright.” Gansey looked at his watch. “Blue should be here with ingredients for dinner soon, so—”</p>
<p>“Blue’s here too?” Everyone had come. Of course, as always, when they needed each other, all his friends were there. </p>
<p>“Of course. I couldn’t very well make Christmas dinner on my own.” Gansey smiled and put his hand on Ronan’s thigh in a firm pat. “Now. Where’s the patient?”</p>
<p>Leading Gansey up the stairs, Ronan gestured for him to wait outside Adam’s room. As quietly as possible, he went inside and took a seat on the bed. Adam blinked at him, seemingly having been in the process of waking up. “Hey,” Adam said, voice still rough from days of coughing, “What time is it?”</p>
<p>“About five,” Ronan said, pressing his palm to Adam’s forehead. Finally, <em> finally </em>it felt almost normal. “You’re never gonna guess who’s here.”</p>
<p>“They’re here already?” Adam pushed himself to a sitting position.</p>
<p>Ronan’s eyebrows lowered as he squinted at his boyfriend. “What?”</p>
<p>With a sheepish smile, Adam laced his fingers with Ronan. “Gansey texted me this morning and asked if it was okay if they flew up to help out. Not that I didn’t think you couldn’t take care of me on your own.”</p>
<p>Leaning in to press their foreheads together, Ronan sighed. “You’re too much, you know?”</p>
<p>“I know.” Adam gave Ronan a quick kiss before pulling away. “Go let Gansey in.”</p>
<p>Ronan called for him and Gansey entered, bumped knuckles with Adam, and pulled up his desk chair. “How do you feel?”</p>
<p>“Not a huge change since this morning, but a hell of a lot better than yesterday.” Adam squeezed Ronan’s hand. “This one can attest to that.”</p>
<p>“Scared the fucking shit out of me,” Ronan said, shushing Adam as soon as he heard the other start to apologize. “Stop it. Gansey, why don’t you regale us with more holiday party stories? How many hors d'oeuvres had gold leaf on them?”</p>
<p>Gansey held up a hand. “Only one. But the most absurd part of the evening was when two of the Kennedys—” Groaning in tandem, Adam and Ronan burst into laughter; it took Gansey a moment to shake his head and join in. He was a few words into the actual story when his phone buzzed. Looking at the screen, he stood. “That’s Blue—I’ll be right back.”</p>
<p>When he stepped out, Adam brought Ronan’s hand to his lips in a delicate kiss. “I hope you’re not mad—I thought you’d insist on doing everything yourself, so I didn’t tell you.”</p>
<p>Ronan smiled. “What a role reversal, huh?” He kissed Adam’s forehead. “But seriously—thank you. I, uh—” he paused, searching for words that were true but wouldn’t make Adam feel worse, “I was kind of a mess last night.”</p>
<p>“I had a feeling.” </p>
<p>Blue and Gansey’s voices grew louder as they came up the stairs, and then Blue burst into the room. “Adam!” she said, sitting on the foot of the bed and giving his leg a shake. “I was given the impression that you were on your deathbed, so it’s good to see you upright.”</p>
<p>“Thanks?”</p>
<p>“And you—” she pointed to Ronan, then looked at Gansey. “Your job was to put him to bed while I went shopping.”</p>
<p>“I just got here!”</p>
<p>Ronan put up his hands defensively. “I don’t need to be put to bed.” Gansey, Blue, and Adam all responded at the same time, each with the same message of ‘Yes, you do.’ “There’s nowhere else for me to sleep besides the couch, and you’re gonna be in the kitchen.”</p>
<p>Blue rolled her eyes. “There are like, three other beds here.  Just take a picture of it, sleep, wash the sheets, and put it back like you found it.  I do it to Henry’s suitemates all the time.”</p>
<p>After looking to Adam, who gave an encouraging nod, Ronan sighed. “Fine.”</p>
<p>“We’ll take care of him,” Gansey added, jerking his head toward Adam.</p>
<p>“I don’t really need ‘taking care of’ anymore.”</p>
<p>“False.” Blue reached over Adam and poked at Ronan’s ribs until he vacated his place on the bed. “Go.”</p>
<p>Ronan quickly kissed Adam, bid the others goodnight, and went into the bedroom furthest from Adam’s, hoping for quiet. The bed was already made, so he didn’t bother taking a picture, but he had to admit that Blue’s suggestion was a pretty genius idea. Having already dressed for bed after their shower, he got under the covers and curled on his side. He was asleep within minutes.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>It was pitch dark when he woke up, feeling the combination of groggy and well-rested and confused that always followed a nap.  Stretching, he went down the hall to Adam’s room, only to find it empty. On his way down the stairs, he heard quiet conversation, occasionally interspersed with coughing from Adam or laughter from the group. He stood in the doorway for a moment, just watching, before Gansey noticed him. “He lives!”</p>
<p>Adam beamed, twisting to see Ronan from where he was enthroned in blankets on the couch. “Good morning.” Ronan fit himself on the other end of the sofa, tangling his legs with Adam’s under the covers. “How’d you sleep?”</p>
<p>“Good. I, uh, really fucking needed that.”</p>
<p>“Do you want dinner?” Gansey offered, nudging Blue to get off of his lap, “We ate already but everything’s still out.” Rubbing at his eyes in an effort to wake up, Ronan nodded and went to the kitchen. Gansey joined him and handed him a plate before identifying the various dishes: a roast chicken with vegetables, a brightly-colored salad, bread from a place down the street. “There’s a buche de noel in the fridge for dessert.” </p>
<p>Ronan was about to ask when Blue yelled from the other room. “It’s a fancy cake shaped like a log!”</p>
<p>“Exciting,” Ronan said, filling his plate. Quietly, to Gansey, he said, “Thank you for doing this.”</p>
<p>“Consider it a temporary Christmas present from Blue and I. We didn’t think we were going to see you two for a few weeks, so—”</p>
<p>Cutting him off with an elbow to his side, Ronan interrupted, “Dude. Seriously. This is—” he paused, looking for the right word, finally settling on “—perfect.”</p>
<p>Gansey put his hand on Ronan’s shoulder and squeezed it before heading back to the living room. When Ronan joined them, he found Adam with his head resting on the arm of the couch while Blue played with his hair. Gansey was searching for something on Netflix. “Do we want the classic Fireplace for your Home, or the birchwood edition?”</p>
<p>“Birch.” Adam bent his legs to allow Ronan a place to sit, and once he was situated, burrowed his feet under Ronan’s thighs. “We looked it up, and turns out they stream the midnight Mass at the Cathedral, if you’re still awake for it. And then the morning one at eleven-thirty.”</p>
<p>“BC’s is at eleven tomorrow, if you want a change of scenery,” Gansey added.</p>
<p>Ronan felt his face flush. He pushed a carrot around his plate for a moment before looking up and smiling. “Thanks, guys.”</p>
<p>“Oh! That reminds me.” Blue made a beckoning gesture to Gansey, who gave her a confused look. “The hat!”</p>
<p>Reaching into a bag next to his chair, Gansey took out a Santa hat and tossed it to Adam, who sat up and placed it on Ronan’s head. “Ah yes,” Adam said, sitting back, “Traditional attire for a Catholic Mass.”</p>
<p>“Jesus wore one of those, right?” Blue added.</p>
<p>Everyone laughed, and Ronan looked around the room. Gansey, regal as ever, presided over them from a worn armchair. Blue, perched on the arm of said chair, had one hand in Gansey’s and was still massaging Adam’s scalp with the other. Adam looked sleepy and content and more like himself than he had in days. The TV had become a crackling fireplace like the one Ronan had grown up with. There were plastic champagne flutes on the table beside a bottle of sparkling cider.  The collection of Adam’s medications was accompanied by a color-coded schedule in Gansey’s handwriting. Ronan took Adam’s hand and kissed it just to see the other smile, and he had to admit that the tiny living room felt holier than any church he’d been in.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading, team!  I really enjoyed writing this, and loved reading all your comments along the way.</p>
<p>I'm avalonjoan on tumblr as well if you want to connect there :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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